Into the Den
by Eternity's Angel of Mercy
Summary: (ME3) After losing Thessia to the Reapers, and the artifact to Cerberus, Shepard struggles with accepting her defeat. As if her own bitterness wasn't enough, she is called to a meeting between Councilor Tevos and four high-ranking matriarchs, where her actions on Thessia will be questioned. T for language. F.Shep/Tevos one-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect or any of the characters. This one-shot is dedicated to a reviewer, Legionary Prime. LP wanted to see a Shepard/Tevos fic, and I was more than happy to oblige. Happy reading!

* * *

**Into the Den**

* * *

_There is nothing you could have done differently,_ Shepard told herself as she moved toward the communications room, numbly removing her helmet. _You did everything within your power; so did Liara and James. We all did our best…. _

Even so, when she entered the room and saw the lovely face of Councilor Tevos, looking so hopeful… it crushed her. Shepard closed her eyes and leaned against the console, waiting.

It didn't take long for Tevos to notice her. "Shepard! How was it? Did you find what you were looking for?"

Shepard couldn't look at her. She knew those large, cat-like eyes were trained on her now, and just the knowledge made it hard to breathe.

"Commander?" Tevos pressed, voice growing worried. "Commander, we've lost communication with Thessia. Is everything alright? Did you find the artifact?"

"No, Councilor," Shepard finally answered, the words tasting like ash in her throat. She forced herself to meet the holograph of Tevos head on, to be the leader and commander she had sworn to be. She would not back down and cower now. She refused. "Cerberus was there. They… they took the artifact. We have nothing."

Tevos' eyelashes fluttered; she looked like she was about to faint. One of her arms hooked around her stomach while the other cradled her face. "And… and Thessia?" she whispered.

Shepard opened her mouth and closed it again, not sure what to say. "I'm so sorry, Tevos. The Reapers were already there. When we left, it… it didn't look good."

Tevos fell to her knees. Shepard wasn't sure if the hologram lights flickering or if the Councilor was trembling. "I… I can't believe…" Her eyes rose to Shepard's and her voice shook. "How did you fail?"

The words twisted the knife in Shepard's heart. She wanted nothing more than to say everything was fine and Thessia would be saved. She wanted nothing more than to lie, just so that the grief and terror in Tevos' eyes would go away.

"I am so sor-"

The hologram was gone, leaving Shepard alone in the dimly lit room. She slid down the side wall, dropping her face into her knees, and allowed herself a few moments of self-pity. She allowed a few tears to escape, both those of sorrow and frustration, and then she took a deep breath and pushed it all back.

Shepard pulled herself off of the ground, knowing she had to be strong.

* * *

"Commander, need a cab anywhere?" Joker asked over the cabin intercom.

Shepard pulled herself off of the bed, rubbing a hand over her face. "No, Joker, thanks."

The intercom was silent, and so Shepard figured Joker had disconnected. Then EDI's voice filtered over, sounding even more tinny than usual over the speaker. "Shepard, would you care to join us at Purgatory? Joker insists he have someone to drink with before facing his maker."

Shepard attempted to force a smile before giving up; it wasn't like they could see her, anyway. "No, but thanks. I am sure James would be more than happy to tag along if drinking is involved."

Another stretch of silence. Then Joker added, "Alright, Commander. Don't whine to me when you're facing down a Reaper without having some batarian whiskey in your liver."

The click of the intercom being disconnected made Shepard let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. One last shore leave. Then entire crew had tried to find a way to coerce her into doing something on the Citadel while some of the techs and specialists, Traynor included, extrapolated data on Kai Leng's ship.

The last thing Shepard wanted to do was go out and have 'fun.' She wasn't even sure how she was expected to have fun when an entire planet was lost, thanks to her.

She had made the mistake of saying something along the same lines to Garrus. Being the best friend she'd ever had, even though he was a little cold and downright calculating at times, she should have known better. Garrus would always be the first one to defend her, no matter what.

"Shepard, I swear to you," Garrus had groused, his subharmonics flaring as he put a hand on her shoulder, "you did everything you could. Liara knows it, James knows it; all of the crew knows it. We've all seen you in action, Shepard. You don't do anything half-assed. You always give your all."

"It wasn't enough," Shepard had grumbled.

"Well damned if you're not organic," Garrus returned, tilting her face up so her eyes met his. "We all make mistakes, Shepard. And we all fall short sometimes. You're going up against the Reapers, for spirits' sake! It's amazing we've made it this far, Shepard, and we owe all of that to you." And then, after a beat, "And me and my calibrated guns."

Shepard shook her head at the memory. He had made her feel better, much to her surprise. Now that they were on the Citadel, however, Shepard couldn't help but feel hopeless. The one woman she'd let down the most, the one woman who would never forgive her… was here.

As if on cue, Traynor came over the intercom. "Shepard, Councilor Tevos is on vid-com for you."

Shepard closed her eyes and counted backwards from twenty. Steeling herself, she got out of bed, threw her messy hair into a bun and padded toward the elevator.

She ignored the two guards posted at the checkpoint between the CIC and war room. They hushed instantly as she came in, which was unusual. _Probably whispering about what a fuck up I am, _Shepard thought, the idea only mildly amusing in the saddest of ways.

When she made it into the video conferencing room, Tevos was looking somber but elegant. She stood tall, shoulders squared, fingers clasped behind her back. "Shepard, thank you for coming to speak with me. I wasn't sure if you were still on the ship."

Shepard nodded glumly. "Yes. Some of the crew was given leave for a shore day."

Tevos tilted her head slightly to the left, peering at Shepard. "But not you?"

Shepard checked the urge to look down. "No, ma'am. I planned on helping around the ship in whatever capacity I can."

"And is there much for you to do on the ship when it is not moving?"

Her tone was not condescending, but Shepard couldn't help the tingle of annoyance that bristled at the base of her neck. "Not much," she admitted.

Tevos shifted her weight to her left leg, her lips inching upward a fraction. "Then come join me for brunch. I have a few things I would like to discuss with you."

Shepard tried to come up with an excuse. Anything. Quickly. "I need to polish my armor." _Shit_. Worst excuse ever.

The beautifully marked skin of Tevos' brow arched upward in skepticism. "The brunch is in two hours, I believe that gives you ample time to polish your armor and get your hair presentable." Shepard winced and Tevos smiled. "We will be joined by a few of our finest matriarchs. Being the last surviving person on Thessia, they would like to ask you some…questions."

Shepard wished the ground would swallow her. She wanted nothing more than to say _no _and hide in her bed all day. "Alright," was what she finally said, her head bobbing stupidly. "Where are we meeting?"

"My loft," Tevos replied. "I have your omni-tool identifier. I will send you the address. Oh, and Shepard?" After a pause, the councilor smiled beautifully. "Try to look presentable."

_Fuck_.

* * *

Shepard had struggled with her feelings for Tevos for a long time. Even before she was a Spectre, she had found the woman completely bewitching. _Me and the rest of the damn human race, _Shepard thought, a smile tugging her mouth as she brushed out her hair.

There was a soft knock on her bathroom door, which made her start. Usually she heard her cabin door sliding open, the hydraulics squealing softly. She had been too deep in thought this time around, it seemed. She opened the bathroom door, coming face-to-face with Liara.

"Shepard," she greeted, smiling sweetly. "Are you getting ready for your meeting with the matriarchs?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Aethyta must have been invited, too?"

Liara nodded her agreement, moving into the bathroom and sitting on the toilet lid. She watched Shepard for a few moments before adding, "Aethyta also mentioned that she had a sneaking suspicion you and the councilor might have something between you?"

Shepard turned, looking stunned. "What?"

Liara's smile widened. "She actually didn't say that, I just assumed. That look on your face confirms it." Liara stood, gently taking Shepard's arm and leading her out of the bathroom. "Come, I have just the dress for you. And that hair _must_ be tamed. If Tevos sees you like this, you'll only embarrass her."

"But, wait," Shepard stammered, still clutching her hair brush as Liara led her toward the elevator. "How did you know?"

Liara rolled her eyes, finally releasing Shepard when they entered the lift. She pressed the crew deck before turning to her human friend. "Shepard, I did nothing other than watch you adoringly when we first met. I saw the look on your face before every transmission with the council; even _after_ every transmission. I saw your face when you had to choose between the Destiny Ascension and the lives of hundreds of soldiers." Liara's smile widened as she added, "You're very obvious to those who actually pay attention. And asari pay attention."

Shepard sighed, following Liara out of the elevator and into her cabin. Glyph wound his way around them, chirping his greetings. Liara ignored him and went directly to her bedroom area, opening the closet and pulling out a lovely dress. "This," she began, nodding, "will be perfect." She laid the dress out on her bed. It was a deep crimson with sapphire piping and golden accents. It was very asari in make and, when Shepard reached out to touch the cloth, it felt like spun silk.

"Liara, I can't-"

Liara tilted her head. "If you want to make a good impression on the matriarchs and the Councilor, you will."

Shepard sighed and began to pull her Alliance teeshirt over her head. She dressed quickly, the smooth dress sliding over her and hugging the curves that often got hidden by bulky armor or shapeless Alliance-wear. Once she was dressed, Liara sat her down on the bed and began brushing out her hair.

"I've always wanted to get my hands on your hair," she admitted, chuckling. "I've always been so envious of it."

"It's just hair," Shepard argued. She herself didn't bother doing much with it. It was either in a ponytail or bun; kept it out of the way.

"Not to an asari," she admitted. "It's unique and beautiful."

Liara tugged and brushed and styled Shepard's hair for close to fifteen minutes. Finally the asari pulled away, humming her approval. "Matriarch Elainya's lover wore her hair like this often. I've always thought it would suit you."

Shepard moved to the mirror in the closet and smiled. Liara had pulled her mess of hair back into a braided bun, a few loose waves hanging around her face. "You do good work for not having hair, Liara."

Liara shrugged modestly, laying out a pair of flats that matched the red of Shepard's dress. "Go get makeup. You're going to be late."

Shepard stepped into the shoes, thankful that she and Liara were almost identical in size. "Come with me?"

Liara shook her head but looked flattered at the offer. "As much as I would love to, the invitation was granted to you alone. It would be rude for me to intrude."

"You asari and your manners," Shepard chuckled, moving toward the door.

* * *

On the way to Tevos' flat, Shepard's insides began to churn. Playing dress up and getting her hair styled had been all good and fun, taking Shepard's mind off of what was to come… but now reality was rushing back to her, reminding her of why she was meeting with the women in question.

The cab arrived to a tall, chic building that glimmered a dusky rose color. Shepard slid out of the cab, transferring credits over to pay for the fare. She made her way to the building, trying to ignore the fact that a handful of graceful politicians were sauntering in and out of the building, casting her curious glances. Most of them looked as though they recognized her.

The door greeter smiled, ushering her inside. "Councilor Tevos instructed we take you directly to her when you arrived."

Shepard tried her best to smile at the turian, but her heart seemed to have fluttered its way into her throat. "I think I can manage. Which one is hers?"

"1643," he replied. "The elevators are through the lobby and to your left. Enjoy your meeting, Ms. Shepard."

Shepard took a deep breath, forced a smiled, and began to walk. The lobby was a huge marbled foyer with a glittering atrium in the center. The glossy green leaves of exotic plants shimmered in the sun as bright, gem-colored birds darted around the skylight.

Before she could tear her eyes off of the beautiful atrium, a hand rested on Shepard's arm. She turned, coming face to face with Liara's father.

Aethyta smiled softly, tilting her head to the side. "Liara must have taken my advice and gotten you looking decent."

Shepard chuckled, a legitimate smile coming to her face. "She did. I guess it's better to look pretty when going into the den of tigers."

Aethyta chuckled, hooking her arm in Shepard's. "I won't lie to you, kid; this is probably going to be a completely nightmare. You are going to get blamed for everything. If you're anything like what Liara says, you've already beat yourself up about this. But now you're going to have four of the most powerful matriarchs pitching in and lending pitchforks. Well, three; you've got me on your side."

"At least there will be one person," Shepard groaned.

Aethyta smiled. "You'll get through this. Just bite your tongue and think of a good song. It'll be over before you know it."

"You don't seem too torn up about this," Shepard returned.

Aethyta shrugged. "I am heartbroken over Thessia. It was my home for so long, I…" she broke off, eyelashes dusting her cheek as she closed her eyes. "But I trusted you; I knew this was coming. I just wish others had listened. Maybe then, Thessia wouldn't have…"

She shook herself out of it, forcing a grin. "Well, at least there will be brunch. If they have felais, you must try it. It's _divine_." With that, the matriarch led Shepard into the elevator and up to the sixteenth floor.

* * *

Two hours. Shepard had been in front of the firing squad of matriarchs for two hours. Three of the matriarchs were asking all of the questions; Aethyta had more than likely gotten the details from Liara, so she stayed silent and listened. Tevos also sat quietly. The Councilor's head was bowed as she listened to every gory detail, her eyes never rising to meet Shepard's.

Finally, the entire group grew silent. The four matriarchs conversed among themselves for a few moments before one murmured, "I don't like this, but I feel Shepard did all that she could have. I want to put my faith in her and her crew. I want to believe that she will do everything in her power to return our artifact to us-"

"This isn't about the artifact, not anymore," another argued, her face full of barely concealed contempt. "This is about _Thessia._ Our home world is destroyed!"

"I agree," the third chimed in, voice wavering. "Three of my daughters were commandoes on Thessia until the end. This should never have happened. I should not have lost three children in one day, all because they were assigned to protect _her._"

Shepard flinched and Aethyta let out a very un-asari-like snort. "You mean to tell me you think Shepard was to blame for your daughters being loyal to their home world and their Councilor?" She shook her head, looking more amused than anything. "Those girls died _heroes_. They should be praised and remembered for their sacrifice."

"Of course you would say that," one spat. "Your daughter is with her! Your daughter got off of Thessia just fine!"

"That's enough," Tevos murmured, her cool voice seeming to douse the hostility. When she was assured that the others at the table had calmed themselves, she continued. "We did not come here to cast blame. We came to hear how… how we failed our home world." She swallowed, her eyes glittering in unshed tears. "We were the ones who decided not to assist Shepard, the turians and krogan at the beginning of this war. We were the ones who thought nothing bad would come to our own home. We were blind, and we made a rash decision. We are paying for it right now. Shepard did all she could with the time and knowledge we gave her. She did more than others would have."

The two argumentative asari looked appropriately abashed.

"I, for one," Aethyta began, "would suggest supplying the commander with as many forces as we can spare. Commandoes can't do much against Reapers, but they can help on the ground against the husks and marauders. Send them to Earth and bolster the defenses there."

"We do have scientists with nowhere else to go now," the first matriarch piped up. "Perhaps they could aide in this Crucible?"

Tevos nodded, a gentle smile curving her lips. "I feel this is the best course of action." She turned her attention to Shepard. "We are yours… if you will have us?"

Shepard felt emotion choke her throat and tighten her chest. She had expected grudging acceptance that an alliance was the only way to win this war. She had expected tight-lipped anger and heavy stares. "Yes," she answered, shocked by how even her tone sounded. "We would be thrilled to have whatever help you can offer. In return, I promise to help rebuild Thessia when this is all over."

"That's hardly necessary," one spoke up, looking bemused. "You have no ties to Thessia, no obligation to it."

"I know," she replied, glancing over at Tevos. The councilor was watching her keenly, her amber eyes never breaking away. "I want to."

Aethyta cleared her throat before getting to her feet, brushing down her dress. "Ladies."

"Aethyta's right," another murmured, standing. "We should go. We have other responsibilities, after all. Plans to make, arrangements… shuttles to send to Earth," she added, looking forlorn.

The four women all made their way toward the door, leaving Tevos and Shepard to themselves. Shepard glanced over at Tevos, who was still watching her intently. "I suppose this is my cue?" Shepard began, attempting to chuckle.

Tevos didn't smile. She instead looked across the table at all of the uneaten delicacies. "Why were you upset when you told me about Thessia?" As if sensing Shepard's confusion, she added, "When we spoke on the vid-com. You were upset."

Shepard still wasn't sure what the question entailed. "I failed, Councilor. Failure is not really something I am used to. Especially not when the stakes are as high as they are now."

"It wasn't just that, was it?" Tevos prompted, finally looking at her. Her eyes were narrowed, but she seemed more confused than annoyed. "There was something in your voice. Something in the way you told me…"

Shepard smiled wryly, spreading her hands in a surrendering motion. She was about to take on the Illusive Man at his base and, provided she survived that, take the fight straight to the Reapers. And she was worried about how some asari might react over her feelings? "You caught me. I suppose a war is the last place to be harboring childish crushes, huh?"

Tevos stood quickly, her feet carrying her to one of the massive bay windows that provided an aerial view of the posh developments that surrounded the 800 block. "I used to find this view breathtaking," Tevos murmured suddenly. "Do you know what I see now?"

Shepard went to join her at the window, looking out over the Citadel. "What do you see?"

Tevos turned to her, eyes filled with pain. "I see the people I have sworn to protect. The people I have failed because I was too proud to admit I had been wrong. About Saren. About the Collectors. About the Reapers."

Shepard reached out, putting a hand on Tevos' shoulder. "You did what you could with what little knowledge and time you had," Shepard murmured, using Tevos' own defense for Shepard's actions.

Tevos' face softened. "You never blamed me? Blamed the Council?"

Shepard chuckled at that, her hand sliding down Tevos' arm and taking her hand. "Tevos. I blamed the Council for more things than I should have, and more often than I care to admit," she murmured. "But we're all in this together. We always have been, but now more than ever. You defended me, even though I let you down. I will do the same for the Council… and you."

Tevos' fingers tightened around Shepard's as she stepped a bit closer. "Shepard…" he voice trailed off and she reached up, brushing Shepard's cheek with her free hand. "Why did you never tell me how you felt?"

Shepard smiled, shrugging. "There was never time. When have we ever been alone before now?"

"True," Tevos acquiesced, glancing down at their fingers. "But we're alone now."

Shepard hooked a finger under Tevos' chin, leaning in to brush her lips against the Councilor's. Tevos' eyes fluttered closed, her long lashes flicking across Shepard's cheek. When she pulled back, her eyes were heavily lidded. "Stay?" she asked softly, her voice steady but unsure.

"For as long as I can," Shepard breathed, lips pressing against Tevos' jaw, fingers brushing along the nape of her neck.

"And after?" Tevos questioned, pulling away enough to meet Shepard's eyes with her own. Shepard had never seen the fear in Tevos' eyes that was there now.

Shepard offered her the gentlest smile she could manage, fingertips brushing along the asari's flawless face. She wanted to lie to the woman, to tell her she would come back no matter what happened. To tell her that there was no way Shepard would allow herself to die now.

But she couldn't promise that.

So instead she brushed another kiss across Tevos' lips. "I am yours… if you'll have me."

* * *

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed it! I always thought this pairing was just so sweet! Leave me some comments, critiques, concerns… or even fic requests! It might take me a while to get to all of them, but I am still accepting!

Love love,

E.


End file.
